March 2012
“Iranians play jokes on each other on the 13th day of the Persian new year...”
– Wikipedia: April Fools’ Day (via topherchris)
one time in the 7th grade i brought this curling iron to school
and the boys from my class saw it and they thought it was a dildo or something and my nickname became japanese butt torture
and everytime i see them they never let me forget this no matter how many times i try to explain that this is a curling iron
“Too often, the only escape is sleep.”
– Charles Bukowski (via ses-amour)
lifeinthearctic:
thatgirlwithdolls:
today we were watching the dead poet’s society and all of a sudden the kid behind me slams his desk, stands up, and yells at the kid next to him ‘yolo is not the same as carpe diem’
oh my god.
Computer: Monitor, display this document, okay?
Monitor: No prob, boss.
Computer: Okay, now it looks like the mouse is moving around. Monitor, can you move the pointer icon accordingly?
Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.
Computer: Great, great, okay. Mouse, where are you going now?
Mouse: Over the icon panel, sir.
Computer: Hmm, let me know if he clicks anything, okay?
Mouse: Of course.
Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed Ctrl and P simultaneously.
Monitor: Oh god, here we go.
Computer: *sigh* Printer, are you there?
Printer: No.
Computer: Please, Printer, I know you're there.
Printer: No! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
Computer: Jesus. Okay, you really nee-
Mouse: Sir! He's clicked on the printer icon.
Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.
Printer: No! No! No! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
Printer: No! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!
Computer: You are not out of in-
Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!
Computer: *sigh* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
Monitor: But sir, he has plen-
Computer: Just do it, damn it!
Monitor: Yes sir.
Keyboard: Ahhh! He's hitting me!
Computer: Stay calm. He'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now? See what you've done!
Printer: Ha! That's what you get for trying to make me do work. Next time he- hey! HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh god, he's torn out my cartridge! PLEASE! Help! Error!
Monitor: Sir, maybe we should try to help him?
Computer: No. He did this to himself.
“Life is Just a dream on the way to death.”
– The Crow: City of Angels (via siddman)
purely awkward C:: Harry Potter is better if you... →
sweatervestsandswitchblades:
tobycarsonphilips:
peterflyingpan:
matt-karen:
uprightcitizens:
“Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his willy hastily back into his jeans…
Omg
“Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full...”
– Death;
The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
(via sunshineonhershoulders)
Awesome cosmos fact #2
fuckyeahspaceexploration:
Within 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000001s of the Big Bang, the universe inflated by a factor of 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000. I counted those zeros. That’s an expansion of 10^78 times within 10^(-36) of a second. This is called inflation and is the best model we have that explains the evolution of the early...
